Fill the feel of missing

 

8 of January today, winter night. I can feel the things I am missing, how I miss my family in the Philippines. I collect my thoughts, holding my iPad, I started writing. I promised myself I was going to write again. There are a lot of sudden changes in my life after my father passed away. There are times in a day that I feel lost, hard to gather my thoughts, wishing for the day to come that I can talk to my psychiatrist again. That 30 minutes to an hour talk just to keep the right level of my emotion, be it grieving or healing, it is a relief to be able to talk about my father with someone who never knew him, or never know me because there is no judging of feelings.

I really wish I could write again. My blog awaits my return. When I checked it last week, I can feel its emptiness, abandoned, waiting for words, feelings, and the longing to be reread. I got hooked with creating videos in YouTube, but writing is something that is more penetrating to my being. I think this is it for today. Gradually. Until there's more ink in my brain to feed the pen of my heart so I can write my feelings down again.