My Struggles Being A "Half Deaf" Person

"The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard" -William Hazlitt

Can you believe me if I would say that I am a half deaf? Not a totally deaf person because it is only my left ear that is now totally deaf. After the most recent hearing test that was conducted with me, my EENT Doctor said that my right ear is working only 50%. Since February 2013, I started to use a hearing aid to help even a little bit.
I never know that  have a hearing problem. I have a normal life. But I already noticed it while I was still in the Philippines that when I am talking with someone on the phone, I always use my right ear, because I can't hear the voice when the phone is in my left ear. I set aside this, I took it for granted, I have an enjoyable life back then.
It was only until the day that I made the preparations to move in the Netherlands. My husband was the one who noticed it that I had a hearing problem because he said, I don't answer him when he is talking with me.
Since moving to the Netherlands requires me to pass first the MVV Test at the Dutch Embassy in Manila, the embassy requests for a doctor to test my hearing capacity. You can feel how frustrating it was for me to realize how weak my hearing.
The hospital in our city (the Netherlands) conducts a hearing test with me yearly. I even have my whole head and skull checked with MRI Scan because the doctors want to see what is the cause of my deafness, because in our family, there is no such history. But they did not find anything, they did not find anything or something that they can fix. The only help that I can get is to use a hearing aid. Since my left ear is totally zero, I use a hearing aid only with my right ear.
As days go by, I feel the struggles and difficulties being a half deaf. I cannot even hear  now the sound on the tv when I don't have my hearing aid on my ear. There are times that I just want to be alone and to isolate myself, for the fear that I can't answer well to any question or not able to go along with the flow of the conversation. I feel embarrassed when I can't hear fast when someone is talking with me. I do not like to become a loner, but most of the times now, I find myself that way. I am just happy to be with those people who has more patience with me... And understand my limitations.
My follow up blog for this topic is about how people in the hearing world can show compassion with the deaf and with those who has a hearing problem. Please hang on with me.