Life Change

As I am writing this, my heart pounding for my new found best friend, one friend who never left me  from the day that my beloved father passed away to this moment on...

 Looking back, reflecting of my old life asking where would I be if I did not find the true God,

where would I be if the true love never found me.

Life-changing moment caught me by surprise, 

pushing and pulling me to the place where I never want to be stuck. 

Life-changing moment helps us to realized  the vanity of quantity than the quality. 

Life-changing moment opens our eyes to seek help, to reach out, and hold fast the warmth of a helping hand.

Life-changing moment sprout one true friend, so real with a love that can see you through, persistent to comfort you.

Someone who will knock on your door, ring your phone,

When you are helpless, senseless, hopeless, depress, or breathless. 

Life-changing moment can be a break-through

For us not to beg for love, don’t  force to be loved.

Life changing moment will lead us to people who see the goodness in our heart when we think we are about to have self-condemned. 

Life changing moment will reset out mind, not to worry with who we are or what we are. 

There is no good in apologising how we are made, how we are mold based on what we learned or by upbringing.

The tea just remains tea and it never apologise for not being a coffee.

What lies ahead is life and death and just yourself.

Tips For A 2018 Healthy Lifestyle

I don't have a New Year's resolution. I am happy to face another year of my life with my loved ones. The chance to change for betterment is a day to day chance, as well as a day to day challenge. To change and to become a better person for the sake of a tradition is for me shallow. The effect can be only short term, and perhaps not intended to touch lives. I have my lists on how we can make ourselves a better person, not just for ourselves but also for others.

1. Turn off your phone... A bit more. Why? So you have time to look the people you love in the eye.

2. Be more polite. Let us check our manners. Good manners can take you to the place where you have never been. Whether it is a simple please and thank you, you can brighten someone's day. Don't also forget to be polite to the text messages that must be acknowledged.

3. Be more organized. Be it cleaning your shoes, unclogging your bag, or being on time.

4. Minimize your shopping/material goods.

5. Take time to walk, because walking prolongs life.

6. Frown less. Smile more.

7. Have more self control. Have the courage to say no.

8. Do something nice to others. It is worth remembering there is a whole world too.

9. Get more quality sleep. With glowing lights and beeping alerts with these all sorts of gadgets, we should be gunning for at least eight hours of sleep at night.

10. Stop procrastinating.

My Struggles Being A "Half Deaf" Person

"The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard" -William Hazlitt

Can you believe me if I would say that I am a half deaf? Not a totally deaf person because it is only my left ear that is now totally deaf. After the most recent hearing test that was conducted with me, my EENT Doctor said that my right ear is working only 50%. Since February 2013, I started to use a hearing aid to help even a little bit.
I never know that  have a hearing problem. I have a normal life. But I already noticed it while I was still in the Philippines that when I am talking with someone on the phone, I always use my right ear, because I can't hear the voice when the phone is in my left ear. I set aside this, I took it for granted, I have an enjoyable life back then.
It was only until the day that I made the preparations to move in the Netherlands. My husband was the one who noticed it that I had a hearing problem because he said, I don't answer him when he is talking with me.
Since moving to the Netherlands requires me to pass first the MVV Test at the Dutch Embassy in Manila, the embassy requests for a doctor to test my hearing capacity. You can feel how frustrating it was for me to realize how weak my hearing.
The hospital in our city (the Netherlands) conducts a hearing test with me yearly. I even have my whole head and skull checked with MRI Scan because the doctors want to see what is the cause of my deafness, because in our family, there is no such history. But they did not find anything, they did not find anything or something that they can fix. The only help that I can get is to use a hearing aid. Since my left ear is totally zero, I use a hearing aid only with my right ear.
As days go by, I feel the struggles and difficulties being a half deaf. I cannot even hear  now the sound on the tv when I don't have my hearing aid on my ear. There are times that I just want to be alone and to isolate myself, for the fear that I can't answer well to any question or not able to go along with the flow of the conversation. I feel embarrassed when I can't hear fast when someone is talking with me. I do not like to become a loner, but most of the times now, I find myself that way. I am just happy to be with those people who has more patience with me... And understand my limitations.
My follow up blog for this topic is about how people in the hearing world can show compassion with the deaf and with those who has a hearing problem. Please hang on with me.

Seven Signs Of Being A Matured Person

"You're so immature, you're so irrational!" Most of us heard that in a movie or in a real life drama. I come to think, what are the marks of maturity? Aside from thinking about this for myself, I also read some information about this topic, and from those fragments I matched them with my own feelings that resulted for me to list seven signs of maturity. Here they are.

1. Maintaining a long term commitment. Gratification comes in a blink of an eye, can last for only a moment. A mature person has the power and strength to delay gratification and to say a firm no to a temptation.
2. I'm fine, be it with flattery or criticism, I am starting to feel stable, unshaken. A mature person is unshaken, firm, stable.
3. Notifying the spirit of humility. I come to the terms that I do not know everything. It says, humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
4. Decision making mostly based on character, not on feeling. Although emotion is important, to be governed by a character is far more important and brings lifelong benefits.
5. Becomes more thankful, have the heart filled with gratitude. Immature people think and feel that they deserve everything good in life. Mature people appreciate both big things and little things in life; and learn both from the good and the bad that comes along in our life.
6. Listening more and talking less. Immature people are self centered. Talking less and have an ear to listen is a sign not only of maturity but  also of unselfishness.
7. Being calm, have the feeling of peace of mind. Not desperate or frantic, or irritational. Most of all, a mature person does not cling to material things. A mature person knows that a blessing is not about on things tangible, but more on intangible things in life.

Complete Me (A Mother's Poem)

Little toes, bright eyes

Tender smile, soft giggles

A boy with golden hair,

Once you were just a dream.

I have you now

My life will be incomplete without you

The breath that fills my heart,

The movement that sustains my day.

A child of mine,

A sweet delight

That sometimes makes my world

Upside down.

You bring to me a sense of completion

It's a peculiar kind of joy

A happiness without measure

You made the best of me when I became your mother.

Seven Important Life Lessons That I Learned As I Get Older

This sketch is by me, made this a while ago for this blog. 

"As we grow older, we become more honest and don't have the patience for pointless drama." I have read this quote from one of my Instagram friends. I am today writing this blog speaking as the first person, speaking about myself, the changes in me that you will find could be the same changes that might occure to you, gradually.

* As I grow older, I come to value more of my most precious time. Which is which. Time and opportunities just knock once, it is important which one you hold tight in your heart and which one you have to let go.

* As I grow older, I think I became a bit smarter in detecting lies, cheating, and fakery. As what Clint Eastwood says in the movie True Crime, "I have a nose for the truth." Smelling something fishy became easier as I grow older.

* As I grow older I became keener with the words "quality not quantity."
Be it on things, people, even on friendship. It is fine with me to have just one pair of  earrings as long as it is gold than many but are fake. In friendship, I look more for quality friends, not on quantity.

* As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say, I became an observant. Silence becomes golden to me.

* As I grow older, I had learned not to take very seriously what other people say about me. I believe that the unhappiest people in the world are those who always care what other people think.

* As I grow older, the more I became unafraid to be alone... Or to lose people. As I get older, losing fake people in life is such a huge relief.

* Last but not the least, as I grow older, the more I appreciate elderly people. This is not only because of the famous line, "you will reap what you sow," but because elderly deserves it, it is a good and a strong moral, and I have an intense love in my heart.

Forgiven

Have you ever felt in your life that you are lost, alone, and it was like everything turned gray? A time in your life that you feel in doubt if you can still go on in life and trying so hard to direct your steps and live with the big decision that you made in your entire life? I have felt that way, years ago. It was like I am floating going to somewhere I do not know. The only answer I got was signs whenever I opened my heart to God when I pray. Deep in my heart, I want to have a happy life, a successful marriage life, and not to be sad, even the reality in front of me is as clear as the water: my life has changed. My life has changed when I choose to give my heart to a stranger who is now my husband. That time, I wrote a thought, expressing my feelings and my gratitude to God for not leaving me in total abandon. Here it is:

My role as a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, wife, and mother is to model growth not perfection because I am not perfect and everyone around me knows it. I am aware of my limitations, shortcoming, as well as my strength. If I am trying to keep up a front of Christian perfection in order to encourage the saints and win sinners, forget it, it will never happen. But when I openly admitted and asked forgiveness for my fleshly choices, I model the kind of spiritual growth which touched  so many hearts more than I can recall. At this point of my life, when I feel how much I was blessed, it is God's way of saying to me that: God fully understands what I feel and my heart's desire. I truly feel that I am forgiven.

Eleven Hints For Life

Most of the times, life does not give us the precise answer, only a hint or an indication, because life's journey is not just exciting but can make us a better person. -Maggy

Good morning everyone. I am with my son, we woke up very early, as my husband left early for work. Barely 7 o clock and my mind wandering to something that can inspire me and others today. I read my daily Bible verse or we call it Daily Text on my iPad, sipping my coffee, then I found a story with this: Eleven Hints For Life.

With my coffee and this kind of reminders or for some it can be an eye-opener. Hahahaha! I look in my online dictionary to see what is the meaning of the word hint: these are the meaning that I found: a just detectable amount; a slight but appreciable amount; a slight indication; an indication of potential opportunity; an indirect suggestion. I am sharing this with you and ask yourself: What the hint this can give you?

Eleven Hints for Life


1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.



2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
 means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
 never meant to be and you just have to let go.



3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
 porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose 
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
 missing until it arrives.



5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an 
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
 takes a lifetime to forget someone.



6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth,
 even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
 smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
 seem bright.



7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
 be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and 
one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
 a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may 
heal and bless.



10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best
 of everything they just make the most of everything that comes 
along their way.



11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
 a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone 
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,
 you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Five Quotes That I Live By

My flowerphotography and my quotes in a calendar 2017

The way an idea is expressed can affect judgments about it merit. This is how quotes and saying affect the life of millions of people. There are Bible verses that also followed and take by heart by many people, and there are also quotes and sayings.

People in general have an appetite for well-expressed wisdom, motivational, inspirational, or otherwise. There are quotes that are straightforward and convey hatred, bitterness, hopeless. And there  are quotes that are calming, sweet, and gives hope.

I would like to share with you five of my favorite quotes or saying. Maybe while you are reading this, you may also ask yourself, how these quotes can affect you as a human being, or how it can affect your personal relationship.

You are not everyone's cup of tea and it's okay.

YOU ARE NOT EVERYONE'S CUP OF TEA. I'm loving this one. One of the keys to a happy life is to accept the fact that not all people will like us no matter how much we tried to please them. It could be a heavy burden on our shoulder if we live our life to please others. As long as we live a good life, we have a good conscience, and we have a good sleep at night, that matters. You are not everyone's cup of tea and that is okay.

reality bites :) 

YOU KNOW YOUR LIFE HAS CHANGED WHEN GOING TO THE GROCERY STORE BY YOURSELF IS A VACATION. So, this is what real motherhood is! For some reasons, many mothers need to leave their children. There are mothers who sacrifice their relationship with their children by leaving them to work abroad. Once a woman became a mother, she sees it herself that one of the big changes is that her time is more for her child. But I do not understand it when a mother leaves her child to go for fun and to behave like she is a single.

Creativity comes from a life that full of love.

A LIFE LIVED IN LOVE WILL NEVER BE DULL. This is so true. When we are so in love with our own life, smiles and laugh are contagious, we become very creative, and every moment is special. Life becomes dull when we harbor resentment and grudges in our heart.

we are all entitled of happiness.

I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN HAPPINESS. Admit it, there are times in our life that when we feel sad and worthless, we blame it to some people or situation. During those difficult periods of my life, I have learned that my happiness depends only to me, to myself. Our happiness depends on how we react to people or to the situation. Do not underestimate the happy disposition. Accept that there are things in life that are not meant to be.

in friendship, there is no big, there is no small.

I'M NOT INTERESTED IN WHETHER YOU STOOD WITH THE GREAT. I'M INTERESTED IN WHETHER YOU'VE SAT WITH THE BROKEN. As the world gets smaller because of the technology, the more the people become cold hearted, distant, and live with so much pride. The true meaning of friendship becomes elusive, and so is the word compassion. I am thankful to those people who treat me fair.

By the way, I have my own quotes in a calendar 2017. You can view on my online calendar gallery. You can find the link on the right side of this blog. Thank you and I am wishing you a great life too!

Ways How I Cope Homesickness

Homesickness is not necessarily about home. And neither is it exactly an illness. Instead, it stems from our extensive need for love, protection, and security-feelings and qualities usually associated with home. -CNN

There was nothing but excitement for many people who went abroad, either to work or to stay for good. It was like, everything is wow! New surroundings, new people to meet, a new kind of dishes to eat, and looking how bright is the future ahead. Things at first normal, you might be enjoying almost everything but most of the times by the third week or more, the novelty of the new surroundings worn off. I came here to the Netherlands for good. My husband is a Dutchman. Even so, I am not exempted to the word "homesick." There were times that I found myself lying in bed, with the lights turn off, and gazing out the window into the sky. I see the faces of my family and my former close friends. I am half of the world away from them. It is nice here in The Netherlands, I have my family here, but forgive me if there are times that I really wish I have wings to fly, so I can go to the arms of my parents anytime.

I cherish those times.

even a photo like this is a piece of happy news from home.

Very few emotions stay with us all the times. In my experience, they all come and go, or it depends which emotion would you like to harbor for a long time.
I have my husband and my son who are both happy seeing me happy so I am trying to not get caught off guard when homesickness strikes me even at times I think there is something with me that is terribly wrong.

How I cope my homesickness:
I am an expat but remains as a tourist. It helps me a great deal in coping boredom, loneliness, and homesickness. Even just here in our city, I love to explore its sights and attractions. I am trying so hard not to have many dull moments to remember those things that I left back home.

An expat but always a tourist :)

touring around our city with my Filipina tourist friend, Maggie.

Create a routine. It helps me to plan ahead what I am going to do as a daily and weekly routine. It excites me when I have something to look forward to,  be it shopping for a new recipe ingredient, meeting in school with other moms, or a new blog. Things that keep me going.

a happy routine: bringing my son to school everyday.

learning to cook helps me a lot to cope homesickness

Expose yet protect yourself. Being an immigrant means that I come to a country where I was not born in order to settle. It is like going back to scratch. In this world that is full of imperfection, it is easy for us to feel alone, or sometimes even a victim of prejudice and discrimination. Protect yourself. Simply choose to be with people who will treat you fair and without any discrimination. And learn that it is also okay to be alone.

I choose to be with people who treat me well.

It is always a joyful occasion to be with my spiritual sisters.

Try the local food. Even there is a Filipino store just in the next city where I live, I manage to learn to eat the local way. Yes, I eat Dutch foods now and I can even cook some Dutch foods. I can cook boerenkol and  andijvie, and it helps me to adapt in my new home. I don't like it that I have a separate food from my husband. I eat what he likes to eat and I am also happy that he eats rice now more often.

I also love the Dutch cooking of my husband.

Adopting to a new country includes try to eat their foods.

Taking a break from Yahoo Messenger or Skype. Even I always miss my family in the Philippines, I don't like it that I am being too tied with technology. The Netherlands is now my home, it would fair that I spend most of my time to my dealings here. Being too much connected by talking to our family back home almost everyday will not help with the adjustment. As long as I know that all is well with them, I am happy.

My internet life mostly because of my writing and photos.

3/4 of my time devoted to this boy.

Hide behind a camera. This is one of my most favorite. I don't notice how days and years passed by when I am busy making photos. My free time for myself, I usually spend it in making photos, appreciating beautiful things and documenting them through photos. This is a very effective strategy to divert my thoughts, instead of getting lost in my own thoughts and feeling homesick, I pay attention now to the world around me.

No dull moments when I am with my camera.

paying attention to the world around me.

Learning new things to cope boredom, loneliness, and homesickness.

Making new home a home. We cannot bring our entire room or cabinet abroad. If you are working abroad, the time would come that you will go home soon. It is different if you are an immigrant. There are a lot of big changes in our life.
Home will always be where your heart is. I decorate some in our home that reflects on what I am and what I love. My husband and I, repainted our bedroom of the color that I like. It made me feel that here where I belong and it is my home.

A dear friend gave it to me as an appreciation to my role as a plain housewife.

They are my home.

The people I once relied on are no longer a short jeepney ride or a short walk away. I am trying to re-create the same support network from my Dutch family and from a few friends. I am getting "adopted." I am learning new things and doing things that I love. I am counting just a few months and I will see my loved ones again in the Philippines. Homesickness is a very real anxiety issue. I am getting through the feeling, but I am not rushing it. I am surviving.

Five Things How Motherhood Changed My Life

my 30 minutes old son

I remember that moment when me and my husband will tell a good news to my parents that I am pregnant. I was holding my phone and talking to my mother. My tears began to roll down in my cheeks and I lost for words. I gave the phone to my husband and it was him who told my parents that we are going to have a new family member soon.

learning to breastfeed

Time flies. From that day, that baby is now a toddler and a preschooler. My life has changed tremendously. There were times that I am asking myself, am I still the same person? Or motherhood made me a better person?
The day that I delivered my son, most mothers knows it that it is the day filled with pain and emotion, but also a time for a resolution. I promise to myself and to my child that I will do my best to become a good mother.

my son's first holiday in the Philippines

and his second holiday in my country Philippines

Now, I tried to list how motherhood changes my life. I have five and it is compact. If you have any additional, please feel free to write in the comment box. I and other mothers will appreciate that.

1. Myself. My Identity. Now that I am a mother, my life is not for myself alone. Almost round the clock, there is a little creation who depends on me. My identity is instantly integrated with my son. He became my extension. When I am going out without him, people who know us, ask me right away: where is Burt? They don't mind where is my husband, but they mind it that my child is not with me.

his firs month as preschooler

2. My time. When I became a mother, I have learned the shortcuts. I can shower, eat a meal, in five minutes. For the time being, I set aside the leisure. Time to be with my son for me is the most important and something precious. I like him to feel that he can turn to me when he needs me without teaching him to become dependent and needy.

always ready to lend his helping hand :)

3. My social life. One thing that I am thankful for is that even I have my family now, I still have freedom, and enjoying that freedom. But for me, my freedom is relative, has boundaries. There are times that I like to go out with some friends and my husband takes charge to our son. I don't have a curfew, but it is that feeling that I already miss my son so much and being without him for a long period scares me. I love and I enjoy being with my friends, but because of motherhood, I feel that there is more enjoyment to be with my family. Family time for me, is priceless.

my most favorite subject

my buddy even in my meetings

4. My outlook in life. Motherhood has taught me to be more respectful to mothers. We have been through to the same shoes, riding on the same boat, and I feel now how it takes to become a mother. Motherhood also taught me to look at every step I take, how it can affect my family especially my son. Almost on every decision and plan is for the long term, for the benefit of my family, of my son.

a funny boy

my bestfriends, my boyfriends

Burt

5. Bringing back more the childlike heart in me. When I first took my son in my arms, I felt like I was floating in sensation, I feel how much I love him. At the same time, I am a bit scared what the future brings to me as a first time mother. It says that if you want to win your child's heart, don't go by the rules. And I take this by heart. Child discipline and training are such a big issue. My childlike heart helps me to reach hearts, now I want to use it to reach the heart of my son. It is important that a child feels a family bond as well as the friendship within the family. We are playmates, we are a team, we are friends, and most all we are family.

I just hope that until to his adult life, my son would be also be proud that I am his mother.

Motherhood Is Fulfillment

Singleness is freedom, marriage is bliss, motherhood is fulfillment.

My husband had just left for work a few minutes ago. As early as 5:30 in a very cold morning. My son is still in his room, wrapped in his blanket and still having a good sleep. I am wide awake now, the day as a housewife has begun, any moment from now, the day as a mother will soon up and about. I am still in bed while I take my time to write. It is now one of my most favorite subjects: motherhood.

I have so many great times now, having Burt in our lives. He is growing beautifully and always a happy child. August last year when he was born and our life is never the same again. Our home became baby-scented, our floor a mess of scattered toys, and laughter fill the air. I love motherhood.

Burt at three months in my womb.

Prayer is a start for a miracle to happen. Burt was not just a bundle of joy when I first saw him, but a miracle because I did not expect that I can also become a mother. I felt like God's loving arms wrapped around me. I am so blessed.

For nearly four years, I have all of Eric's attention alone. I always hear Eric says: Mahal, let's buy this for you; Mahal, I have something for you; all for me. Until I got pregnant and I start to share Eric's love and attention to that beloved small creation inside my womb. For nine months, I carried him and taught me not too accustomed to being selfish. And now his existence made me and Eric not just a happy but also a beautiful family, this beloved boy makes me bone tired, and most of the times limp as old-day pasta, but it's worth it.

A holiday that ends up in the hospital.

 I have a difficult pregnancy. I was always in the hospital. There were days that the hospital discharged me in the morning, then I am admitted again in the afternoon. Not only once that the nurses injected me pain killers so I can sleep. My husband spent many sleepless nights with me, either at home or in the hospital. It caused stress when we got the advice that I need to go through a test to determine if the baby have down syndrome. If the test is positive, it is legal here that I can stop my pregnancy. I strongly refused that test. Me and my husband are ready regardless of the outcome. From the day that we found out that I am carrying our baby, we hold it so precious. With my heart that full of faith, I am very assured that God will give me and my husband a beautiful kid.

Burt today.

Hubby preparing the room for our baby.

My husband became a busy father to our "still in my womb" son at the same time a busy husband to his very pregnant wife. Even though my pregnancy was difficult, I have so many happy memories with my husband while we are waiting for the arrival of our son. We eat ice cream together in the sunshine, we drive to the beach,  stroll and watch the calming Dutch sunset. My husband even bought me a big portable swimming pool so I can relax when I am alone. Marriage bind our love but it was my pregnancy that fortify it even more.

I don't have everything in life but in my heart I feel I already have everything. Sometimes, I am asking myself: where would I be now if I don't have Eric? What would I be now if I don't have Burt? I am so glad I have them both.