Ways How I Cope Homesickness

Homesickness is not necessarily about home. And neither is it exactly an illness. Instead, it stems from our extensive need for love, protection, and security-feelings and qualities usually associated with home. -CNN

There was nothing but excitement for many people who went abroad, either to work or to stay for good. It was like, everything is wow! New surroundings, new people to meet, a new kind of dishes to eat, and looking how bright is the future ahead. Things at first normal, you might be enjoying almost everything but most of the times by the third week or more, the novelty of the new surroundings worn off. I came here to the Netherlands for good. My husband is a Dutchman. Even so, I am not exempted to the word "homesick." There were times that I found myself lying in bed, with the lights turn off, and gazing out the window into the sky. I see the faces of my family and my former close friends. I am half of the world away from them. It is nice here in The Netherlands, I have my family here, but forgive me if there are times that I really wish I have wings to fly, so I can go to the arms of my parents anytime.

I cherish those times.

even a photo like this is a piece of happy news from home.

Very few emotions stay with us all the times. In my experience, they all come and go, or it depends which emotion would you like to harbor for a long time.
I have my husband and my son who are both happy seeing me happy so I am trying to not get caught off guard when homesickness strikes me even at times I think there is something with me that is terribly wrong.

How I cope my homesickness:
I am an expat but remains as a tourist. It helps me a great deal in coping boredom, loneliness, and homesickness. Even just here in our city, I love to explore its sights and attractions. I am trying so hard not to have many dull moments to remember those things that I left back home.

An expat but always a tourist :)

touring around our city with my Filipina tourist friend, Maggie.

Create a routine. It helps me to plan ahead what I am going to do as a daily and weekly routine. It excites me when I have something to look forward to,  be it shopping for a new recipe ingredient, meeting in school with other moms, or a new blog. Things that keep me going.

a happy routine: bringing my son to school everyday.

learning to cook helps me a lot to cope homesickness

Expose yet protect yourself. Being an immigrant means that I come to a country where I was not born in order to settle. It is like going back to scratch. In this world that is full of imperfection, it is easy for us to feel alone, or sometimes even a victim of prejudice and discrimination. Protect yourself. Simply choose to be with people who will treat you fair and without any discrimination. And learn that it is also okay to be alone.

I choose to be with people who treat me well.

It is always a joyful occasion to be with my spiritual sisters.

Try the local food. Even there is a Filipino store just in the next city where I live, I manage to learn to eat the local way. Yes, I eat Dutch foods now and I can even cook some Dutch foods. I can cook boerenkol and  andijvie, and it helps me to adapt in my new home. I don't like it that I have a separate food from my husband. I eat what he likes to eat and I am also happy that he eats rice now more often.

I also love the Dutch cooking of my husband.

Adopting to a new country includes try to eat their foods.

Taking a break from Yahoo Messenger or Skype. Even I always miss my family in the Philippines, I don't like it that I am being too tied with technology. The Netherlands is now my home, it would fair that I spend most of my time to my dealings here. Being too much connected by talking to our family back home almost everyday will not help with the adjustment. As long as I know that all is well with them, I am happy.

My internet life mostly because of my writing and photos.

3/4 of my time devoted to this boy.

Hide behind a camera. This is one of my most favorite. I don't notice how days and years passed by when I am busy making photos. My free time for myself, I usually spend it in making photos, appreciating beautiful things and documenting them through photos. This is a very effective strategy to divert my thoughts, instead of getting lost in my own thoughts and feeling homesick, I pay attention now to the world around me.

No dull moments when I am with my camera.

paying attention to the world around me.

Learning new things to cope boredom, loneliness, and homesickness.

Making new home a home. We cannot bring our entire room or cabinet abroad. If you are working abroad, the time would come that you will go home soon. It is different if you are an immigrant. There are a lot of big changes in our life.
Home will always be where your heart is. I decorate some in our home that reflects on what I am and what I love. My husband and I, repainted our bedroom of the color that I like. It made me feel that here where I belong and it is my home.

A dear friend gave it to me as an appreciation to my role as a plain housewife.

They are my home.

The people I once relied on are no longer a short jeepney ride or a short walk away. I am trying to re-create the same support network from my Dutch family and from a few friends. I am getting "adopted." I am learning new things and doing things that I love. I am counting just a few months and I will see my loved ones again in the Philippines. Homesickness is a very real anxiety issue. I am getting through the feeling, but I am not rushing it. I am surviving.