NAKARATING AKONG DENMARK DAHIL KAKAIBA DAW AKO DOON SA MGA BABAE SA BANGKA

PAANO BA MAGING MABUTING KAIBIGAN?

5 Traits To A Long And Lasting Friend

 On my own.

Seems ages since I wrote my last blog.

My mind shuffling for any possible new entry.

Then I think about friends. Friendship.

People from different walks of life juggling, fighting, searching, longing for even just one friend to stay. 

What makes one a true and lasting friend?

1. Honesty. Because honesty is the best policy.

In this world of skin-deep and pretension, being honest is a must for a friend that last. Never pretend to be who you haven't been. A true friend will tell you things even those things that are hard for you to hear.

2. Vulnerable. We are created with the needs of caring and the heart that love to share. It’s not being dependent on someone, it’s not about having a friend who will always fight for us. It is the joy of sharing. Be it your ideas, your innermost feeling, your food, or any blast in your day.

3. Appreciative. In real good flow of friendship, plenty of appreciation. It is an unhealthy friendship if we always think that we are always the best, if we think that we must always be appreciated. Give your friends some space to move, to grow, and be happy that sometimes you are just in the background.

4. An Ear To Listen. Just listen and non judgmental. It means you can spare your most precious time with your friend, listening and engaging. We must be cautious, that after we listened, we fight the tendency to spread what there is that entrusted to us. 

5. Respect. In every relationship, respect serves as a soothing balm. Respect to our friend, give us limit up to where we are allowed to go. We respect their decisions, their choices. Self-centered people oftentimes loss friends. Most of the times, they try to buy their so called “friends.”

A Feeling For A Friend

A friend in need is a friend indeed

A friend knows the meaning of your silence

And the voice when you are out of words

Or out of this world.

A friend stands up to you

When others belittle you.

A friend hears your laughs

And it seems a music to their ears.

A friend wants to sit beside you

When all others are wanting to take your life.

A friend asks how are you

And excitedly waits for your reply.

A friend says "I miss you"

And even fetch you when you are feeling down.

True friends are rare.

Most times than not,

Our friend is also whom we call "family".

-By: Maggy Baas-San Jose

Warmth of a friend...

Everybody needs somebody.

The warmth of a friend

Love at first sight

Friendship at first sight

Both are possible

The warmth of a friend

Can ascend you to a high altitude

You can hold its warmth

Its warmth can lighten your day

Gives life an interesting meaning

And the sparks glinting off it.

Friendship is free

Friendship is true

Friendship is not for power

A friend will not resent you

A friend will not leave you

When you are in misery

A friend is not a mystery

The warmth of a friend

Is always with you

In presence

Especially in absence.

Mamas Just Wanna Have Fun!

Everyday, I go to school to bring and to fetch my preschooler. And from there, I have met a wonderful woman, a fulltime mother like me. We became friends. She happily accepted the Bible-based magazine that I am sharing and giving her. I feel the enjoyment of her company. She lives just a few blocks away from our home and I always appreciate it that whenever she is passing by with her two daughters, she taps our window. I feel she is really a neighbour. What I like with her too is that she is befriending me without hesitation, without expectation. And so I am to her. We love making selfies. We love to just walk and talk. We talk almost about everything. The feelings I feel for her inspire me to write this blog about her... About us. What we have done today together. While our kids were in school, we went in the nearby surplus shop. We bought few second hand items. I fell in love to a summer blouse that I saw in the store that I grabbed it right away and pay. On our way back to school, we made photos with the wildflowers. I changed my blouse at the back of the tall grass, right there in the highway! We have such a fun together. It feels so good to feel that I am on myself again, that I am free to be me with her. I cooked monggo (mong bean) for dinner, I called her and told her that she can come in our house so she can taste it. In the end, I gave her a portion in a lunch box and she brought it to her Dutch husband. A moment ago, she sent me in Whatsap the photo of her husband enjoying eating the monggo that I gave. I am about to go to bed now with my husband, but then, I opened my laptop, started to type words, words that are really coming from my heart... I tell you, even fulltime moms just wanna have fun... A whole some fun! Please enjoy our photos :)

Me and my friend, Anama.

my friend's Dutch husband, eating monggo

Philippine Holiday 2017: Today At University Of Santo Tomas.

Completing my Philippine holiday, seeing my Ninong (godfather) again at UST Hospital

As I am writing this, I feel an accomplishment in my heart. Because today, I have seen again a person who is truly dear to us, my Ninong Andre. Ninong in English word is "godfather". Ninong Andre stands as the godfather or principal sponsor in our wedding. Just sad because the last time that we were together, he was a lively person. At present, he is a bedridden. But his eyes are still full of life. Because our three year old son was with us, I just stayed at the McDonald's with him, while my husband went up in the ward to see him. After him, he stayed with our son in Starbucks, and I went up to the ward with Ninong Andre's wife.
As me and my son waiting for my husband to return, my mind roaming around. In person, I don't talk a lot, but I am very observant. As I observe, I started to write a few phrases at the McDonald's receipt. Now, I am sharing it through my blog.
Just a small comparison: in the Netherlands, when we eat at McDonald's, we gather up our mess, throw them in the garbage, and put the tray back in the rack. Most people in the Netherlands doing that, those who are not, are regarded as a lack of self-discipline. In the Philippines, it is still the work of the fast food crews to gather up and clean the mess.
UST or University of Santo Tomas is one of the most prestigious universities in the Philippines. As I sit there looking around, I have seen different faces of college students. Under the tree, there were groups of students eating of I think a home cooked lunch. In the nearby table, I saw students eating McDonald's meal with matching Starbuck's drink. The students are having an expensive gadget, from phone to tablet, to laptop. Philippines, although continue to its progress is still considered as one of the Third World Countries. When you are in UST, seeing the students there, you might forget that fact. But if you will visit the small, dirty streets in Manila, you will see those unfortunate people who are like selling their souls just to live.

Dining At Barrio Pilipinas, The Hague

Happiness is eating your favorite foods in a foreign country.

Have you ever heard these dishes? Kare-Kare, caldereta, sisig, and pakbet? They are Filipino dishes. I think the famous Filipino dish is adobo. There was even a movie with the title American Adobo.
Food and dining are part of Filipino life. Even our foods are not as famous as of  the neighboring countries like Thai and Vietnamese foods, we also have something to offer when it comes to a great cuisine.

Treat for ourselves even it's not a day off :) 

the jeepney inside the restaurant is an attraction.

I am smiling because of this buko-pandan.

One of my great experiences living here in the Netherlands is dining out at the one and only Filipino restaurant in The Netherlands, the Barrio Pilipinas at Den Haag or The Hague. I saw their advertisement on Facebook and I went to dine there with my Filipina friend Arlene.

Aside from family and friends that most of the Filipino living abroad miss, also the foods. That is why, when me and my family are in the Philippines for a holiday, I prefer to eat home cook Filipino foods. I even buy cooked food sold in a carinderia.

A sign: Philippine flag in front of the restaurant.

my friend and her son.

crowding with many tourists.

The Filipino restaurant in The Hague has a variety of menus. Aside from the regular menus, they also have special menus, the salo-salo fiesta sa bilao, and the boddle fight. When I first went there, me and my friend just have the regular menus. We have pancit, kare-kare, and chopsuey. For my dessert, I have buko pandan. I always love buko pandan.

A cold rainy day going to The Hague (the return)

with my friend's baby, I miss my son. Not used of going out alone.

I miss jeepney ride!

The foods are great, the location is accessible to those who are coming even from far cities of the Netherlands, but the only thing that I can comment is, I did not like it when I need to change the diaper of my son, the staff told me to just go at the back of their kitchen to do it. They don't have a changing table for their customers who have a baby. When I cannot do it there, because the floor is slippery, the chairs stack there. I cannot change diaper in a chair. When I told them about it, they replied that I just change diaper in my stroller. I just hope they improved this part.

The salo-salo fiesta sa bilao. 

I got back there to eat again with my friend. My husband took charge to take care of our son so I can meet my friend who that time was in grief because of the death of her father in the Philippines. I can see some improvements. They take orders fast, they served fast, and we ordered the salo-salo fiesta sa bilao that we enjoyed so much. The salo salo fiesta sa bilao is worth 45 euro. At the menu card says it is good for two person. Since me and my friend are not glutton hahahaha, I would say that it is good for four persons.

At The Hague before going back home.

Den Hague or The Hague is like the big cities of Amsterdam and Rotterdam, home of diverse nationalities and cultures. You can find in these cities many restaurants. I am glad there is one Filipino Restaurant where I can go whenever I want to eat with full of Filipino enjoyment, like eating, using hands. This morning, me and my friend were talking again and planning to get back here. When Inday Maggy has the day off again, she loves to meet her friend Inday Arlene at their meeting place, to eat, to talk, and to laugh. Only at Barrio Pilipinas in Den Haag.

Ways How I Cope Homesickness

Homesickness is not necessarily about home. And neither is it exactly an illness. Instead, it stems from our extensive need for love, protection, and security-feelings and qualities usually associated with home. -CNN

There was nothing but excitement for many people who went abroad, either to work or to stay for good. It was like, everything is wow! New surroundings, new people to meet, a new kind of dishes to eat, and looking how bright is the future ahead. Things at first normal, you might be enjoying almost everything but most of the times by the third week or more, the novelty of the new surroundings worn off. I came here to the Netherlands for good. My husband is a Dutchman. Even so, I am not exempted to the word "homesick." There were times that I found myself lying in bed, with the lights turn off, and gazing out the window into the sky. I see the faces of my family and my former close friends. I am half of the world away from them. It is nice here in The Netherlands, I have my family here, but forgive me if there are times that I really wish I have wings to fly, so I can go to the arms of my parents anytime.

I cherish those times.

even a photo like this is a piece of happy news from home.

Very few emotions stay with us all the times. In my experience, they all come and go, or it depends which emotion would you like to harbor for a long time.
I have my husband and my son who are both happy seeing me happy so I am trying to not get caught off guard when homesickness strikes me even at times I think there is something with me that is terribly wrong.

How I cope my homesickness:
I am an expat but remains as a tourist. It helps me a great deal in coping boredom, loneliness, and homesickness. Even just here in our city, I love to explore its sights and attractions. I am trying so hard not to have many dull moments to remember those things that I left back home.

An expat but always a tourist :)

touring around our city with my Filipina tourist friend, Maggie.

Create a routine. It helps me to plan ahead what I am going to do as a daily and weekly routine. It excites me when I have something to look forward to,  be it shopping for a new recipe ingredient, meeting in school with other moms, or a new blog. Things that keep me going.

a happy routine: bringing my son to school everyday.

learning to cook helps me a lot to cope homesickness

Expose yet protect yourself. Being an immigrant means that I come to a country where I was not born in order to settle. It is like going back to scratch. In this world that is full of imperfection, it is easy for us to feel alone, or sometimes even a victim of prejudice and discrimination. Protect yourself. Simply choose to be with people who will treat you fair and without any discrimination. And learn that it is also okay to be alone.

I choose to be with people who treat me well.

It is always a joyful occasion to be with my spiritual sisters.

Try the local food. Even there is a Filipino store just in the next city where I live, I manage to learn to eat the local way. Yes, I eat Dutch foods now and I can even cook some Dutch foods. I can cook boerenkol and  andijvie, and it helps me to adapt in my new home. I don't like it that I have a separate food from my husband. I eat what he likes to eat and I am also happy that he eats rice now more often.

I also love the Dutch cooking of my husband.

Adopting to a new country includes try to eat their foods.

Taking a break from Yahoo Messenger or Skype. Even I always miss my family in the Philippines, I don't like it that I am being too tied with technology. The Netherlands is now my home, it would fair that I spend most of my time to my dealings here. Being too much connected by talking to our family back home almost everyday will not help with the adjustment. As long as I know that all is well with them, I am happy.

My internet life mostly because of my writing and photos.

3/4 of my time devoted to this boy.

Hide behind a camera. This is one of my most favorite. I don't notice how days and years passed by when I am busy making photos. My free time for myself, I usually spend it in making photos, appreciating beautiful things and documenting them through photos. This is a very effective strategy to divert my thoughts, instead of getting lost in my own thoughts and feeling homesick, I pay attention now to the world around me.

No dull moments when I am with my camera.

paying attention to the world around me.

Learning new things to cope boredom, loneliness, and homesickness.

Making new home a home. We cannot bring our entire room or cabinet abroad. If you are working abroad, the time would come that you will go home soon. It is different if you are an immigrant. There are a lot of big changes in our life.
Home will always be where your heart is. I decorate some in our home that reflects on what I am and what I love. My husband and I, repainted our bedroom of the color that I like. It made me feel that here where I belong and it is my home.

A dear friend gave it to me as an appreciation to my role as a plain housewife.

They are my home.

The people I once relied on are no longer a short jeepney ride or a short walk away. I am trying to re-create the same support network from my Dutch family and from a few friends. I am getting "adopted." I am learning new things and doing things that I love. I am counting just a few months and I will see my loved ones again in the Philippines. Homesickness is a very real anxiety issue. I am getting through the feeling, but I am not rushing it. I am surviving.

Seven Things That Can Make You (Or Me) Happy

Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket. I know this quote with all my heart. This quote reminds us that our happiness is in our control. It is easy to get miserable when our expectation of the people whom we expect will bring us happiness do not materialize. I have my listings of the seven things that can make you or even me happy. If you have some additional, you can write it down in your note as a note to self.

my complete happiness

1. Don't forget to appreciate yourself. Self worth is vital to our happiness. To feel good with others, we must feel good first about ourselves. Write down the things you love about yourself, be it tangible like your eyes or intangible like your kind soul. Tell yourself that it is okay not to be perfect.

love yourself

2. Take time to do the things you love (hobby). Hobbies are an effective stress-reliever. You will feel happy and recharged after doing something you really love. If you don't have a hobby, you can start doing one soon. It can be playing a musical instrument, knitting, or photography. Whatever you feel you enjoy doing in your free time.

Take time to read a book

3. Take time to read a good book, not only e-book. There is something in a book that e-book can never replace. Find a book that fascinates you and you feel you will able to finish. Sometimes, reading is a temporary escape from our life.

Do random act of kindness

4. Do even one act of kindness every day. These deeds may be a small or simple gesture of kindness, but do not underestimate the joy that it will bring to you and to those who will be touched by your kindness. Be it a compliment to a stranger or a heartfelt hello.

my place when I want some space

5. Create a place of retreat when you need a "time-out" to be alone with your thoughts. You don't need a big house to create a space for yourself. An armchair facing a window  where you can sit and sip quietly your coffee and to compose yourself can do.

I am a hobbyist

6. Be selective in your association. Friends have a big influence to our well being. Their influence can be manifested in how we think and on our behavior. If your friends are causing you unhappiness, they are not genuine friends. I prefer to be alone and happy than surrounded with friends that caused me unhappiness.

have a friends of few but true

7. Have a grateful heart. Be thankful, count your blessings, and notice simple pleasures. Gratitude brings more goodness and happiness in life. At the end of the day, we can thank our spouse for whatever they made on our behalf. And most of all, it brings a happiness without measure when we are grateful to the source of our life.

I Want To Talk About Friends and Friendship

a friend vs just being friendly

Quotes, sayings, and tales about friendship seems endless. And around the world, many people are desperately searching for a warm friendship and when their expectation failed, it leads to their disappointment, loneliness, and they withdraw completely from the world. 

In order for us to become a friend, we also must know how to tell the difference between being a friend and acting friendly. Not all acting friendly can be a friend. And I can be a real friend too without acting too friendly.

One of the questions that I want to consider is, how do your friends make you feel when you are with them? True friendship requires time, getting involved without being clingy. 

Another one is, do you look forward to seeing your friends? Even we are married now, I still feel the excitement in seeing my husband again after he has been away even only for a couple of days.

Likewise, in friendship. If we are comfortable in the presence of our friends, to see them again is something we intently look forward to.

Friendship starts in the family

One of the best things about having a friend is we can share our joy to them. Can you share your joy freely to your friends? Or do you feel you need to be quiet about your good news when you are around with them? You can measure true friendship on how far they can accept you for who you are. True friends rejoice in your success, true friends push you to hit your dream. And only true friends feel it what does your silence imply.

my best friends, my priorities

True friend asks how are you and they know when you are lying when you replied you are okay. They are rare, but be thankful if one of them get crossed in your life.

While I am writing this, faces flooding in my mind. I think of the friends I have in the Philippines and the friends I am having here. I am not expecting anyone to stand on my side as my bff. I have new priorities now. Only to have someone that I can turn to and someone who can turn to me as well. Because friendship is a two way street. In order for a friend to truly consider a friend, they have to believe that we are their friend also.

Only true friends can surface when you are in the lowest part of your life 

I was away for quite a long time from my friends when I met my husband and when I choose to share my life with him. Thanks to Facebook, I was able to catch up with some lost friends. Honest, I can tell it that only true friends can surface when you are in the lowest part of your life.

I am thankful I have true friends.

Measure the friendship by telling them how dark is  your past. Only true friends can stick with you now matter what.

A true friend is appreciative, has told you that you are a friend or has introduced you as their friend. 

A true friend like you get involved and do not like you to feel you were left out. 

A true friend has a sincere ear when you spill the beans about your life.

A true friend is consistent, but respect space.

Before I end up, I want to cite one of Leo Buscaglia's quotes: a single rose can be my garden, a single friend my world. And one of my favorite songs is Dan Hill's One Friend. The lyrics say: sometimes the world was on our side, sometimes it wasn't fair. Sometimes it gave a helping hand, sometimes we didn't care... Whatever, I am grateful to all my true friends! They know who they are.