Complete Me (A Mother's Poem)

Little toes, bright eyes

Tender smile, soft giggles

A boy with golden hair,

Once you were just a dream.

I have you now

My life will be incomplete without you

The breath that fills my heart,

The movement that sustains my day.

A child of mine,

A sweet delight

That sometimes makes my world

Upside down.

You bring to me a sense of completion

It's a peculiar kind of joy

A happiness without measure

You made the best of me when I became your mother.

Five Things How Motherhood Changed My Life

my 30 minutes old son

I remember that moment when me and my husband will tell a good news to my parents that I am pregnant. I was holding my phone and talking to my mother. My tears began to roll down in my cheeks and I lost for words. I gave the phone to my husband and it was him who told my parents that we are going to have a new family member soon.

learning to breastfeed

Time flies. From that day, that baby is now a toddler and a preschooler. My life has changed tremendously. There were times that I am asking myself, am I still the same person? Or motherhood made me a better person?
The day that I delivered my son, most mothers knows it that it is the day filled with pain and emotion, but also a time for a resolution. I promise to myself and to my child that I will do my best to become a good mother.

my son's first holiday in the Philippines

and his second holiday in my country Philippines

Now, I tried to list how motherhood changes my life. I have five and it is compact. If you have any additional, please feel free to write in the comment box. I and other mothers will appreciate that.

1. Myself. My Identity. Now that I am a mother, my life is not for myself alone. Almost round the clock, there is a little creation who depends on me. My identity is instantly integrated with my son. He became my extension. When I am going out without him, people who know us, ask me right away: where is Burt? They don't mind where is my husband, but they mind it that my child is not with me.

his firs month as preschooler

2. My time. When I became a mother, I have learned the shortcuts. I can shower, eat a meal, in five minutes. For the time being, I set aside the leisure. Time to be with my son for me is the most important and something precious. I like him to feel that he can turn to me when he needs me without teaching him to become dependent and needy.

always ready to lend his helping hand :)

3. My social life. One thing that I am thankful for is that even I have my family now, I still have freedom, and enjoying that freedom. But for me, my freedom is relative, has boundaries. There are times that I like to go out with some friends and my husband takes charge to our son. I don't have a curfew, but it is that feeling that I already miss my son so much and being without him for a long period scares me. I love and I enjoy being with my friends, but because of motherhood, I feel that there is more enjoyment to be with my family. Family time for me, is priceless.

my most favorite subject

my buddy even in my meetings

4. My outlook in life. Motherhood has taught me to be more respectful to mothers. We have been through to the same shoes, riding on the same boat, and I feel now how it takes to become a mother. Motherhood also taught me to look at every step I take, how it can affect my family especially my son. Almost on every decision and plan is for the long term, for the benefit of my family, of my son.

a funny boy

my bestfriends, my boyfriends

Burt

5. Bringing back more the childlike heart in me. When I first took my son in my arms, I felt like I was floating in sensation, I feel how much I love him. At the same time, I am a bit scared what the future brings to me as a first time mother. It says that if you want to win your child's heart, don't go by the rules. And I take this by heart. Child discipline and training are such a big issue. My childlike heart helps me to reach hearts, now I want to use it to reach the heart of my son. It is important that a child feels a family bond as well as the friendship within the family. We are playmates, we are a team, we are friends, and most all we are family.

I just hope that until to his adult life, my son would be also be proud that I am his mother.

Motherhood Is Fulfillment

Singleness is freedom, marriage is bliss, motherhood is fulfillment.

My husband had just left for work a few minutes ago. As early as 5:30 in a very cold morning. My son is still in his room, wrapped in his blanket and still having a good sleep. I am wide awake now, the day as a housewife has begun, any moment from now, the day as a mother will soon up and about. I am still in bed while I take my time to write. It is now one of my most favorite subjects: motherhood.

I have so many great times now, having Burt in our lives. He is growing beautifully and always a happy child. August last year when he was born and our life is never the same again. Our home became baby-scented, our floor a mess of scattered toys, and laughter fill the air. I love motherhood.

Burt at three months in my womb.

Prayer is a start for a miracle to happen. Burt was not just a bundle of joy when I first saw him, but a miracle because I did not expect that I can also become a mother. I felt like God's loving arms wrapped around me. I am so blessed.

For nearly four years, I have all of Eric's attention alone. I always hear Eric says: Mahal, let's buy this for you; Mahal, I have something for you; all for me. Until I got pregnant and I start to share Eric's love and attention to that beloved small creation inside my womb. For nine months, I carried him and taught me not too accustomed to being selfish. And now his existence made me and Eric not just a happy but also a beautiful family, this beloved boy makes me bone tired, and most of the times limp as old-day pasta, but it's worth it.

A holiday that ends up in the hospital.

 I have a difficult pregnancy. I was always in the hospital. There were days that the hospital discharged me in the morning, then I am admitted again in the afternoon. Not only once that the nurses injected me pain killers so I can sleep. My husband spent many sleepless nights with me, either at home or in the hospital. It caused stress when we got the advice that I need to go through a test to determine if the baby have down syndrome. If the test is positive, it is legal here that I can stop my pregnancy. I strongly refused that test. Me and my husband are ready regardless of the outcome. From the day that we found out that I am carrying our baby, we hold it so precious. With my heart that full of faith, I am very assured that God will give me and my husband a beautiful kid.

Burt today.

Hubby preparing the room for our baby.

My husband became a busy father to our "still in my womb" son at the same time a busy husband to his very pregnant wife. Even though my pregnancy was difficult, I have so many happy memories with my husband while we are waiting for the arrival of our son. We eat ice cream together in the sunshine, we drive to the beach,  stroll and watch the calming Dutch sunset. My husband even bought me a big portable swimming pool so I can relax when I am alone. Marriage bind our love but it was my pregnancy that fortify it even more.

I don't have everything in life but in my heart I feel I already have everything. Sometimes, I am asking myself: where would I be now if I don't have Eric? What would I be now if I don't have Burt? I am so glad I have them both.