My Son's Struggles For Being An Only Child

"if adults have struggles, children have too."

As I was folding our laundry this afternoon, this blog came across my mind.
As I was neatly folding the tiny clothes of my four year old son, suddenly, something came into me. The thoughts that even a four year old child somehow have struggles too. The struggles of being a single child. Single, no sibling or siblings.
When we say struggles, it implies an energetic attempt to achieve something,  a strenuous effort. Let me tell why I can say that my son struggle for being our single child. Yes, there are pros and cons being an only child in the family. To name some of the pros are, the parents' undivided attention, parents dote on the child more, providing more, because it is their only child. When it comes to disadvantage, there is the term that I derived from my reading, the "Little Emperor Symptom." It refers to a Chinese situation involving parents and their single child. The tendency for a single child to grow spoiled, but a good parenting is a big help to avoid such unhealthy situation.
Being a single child there is a feeling of loneliness. I cannot tell right now if my son is feeling lonely being our only child, he is happy having us as his parents as well as the other immediate family members. But I see it, his longing to be with other children. To have a regular playmate, that is one reason why he loves school. Maybe as he grows older, maybe he will feel too the longing or wishing to have a sibling whom he can share thoughts and memories. He is always alone, only with me, or only with me and my husband. That is why, when he started in school, the teachers told me that my son seems doesn't know how to communicate with other children.
I have tried to reach out to other mothers, so my son can also learn to be with other children, learn the joy of sharing and giving, learn the sweetness of having a good friend. But it was like, I am just forcing people to like us, to accept my son. Yes, my son is naughty, my son is noisy, but it is still too early to conclude what kind of a person he is. He is a very curious child, but a happy hearted child. It touches my heart, to see that he never forgets the people who show love to him. If I as a mother has my own struggles, my son have too. If only I can grab him and take him to the place where we will be accepted as mother and child and fair, I will definitely do that. Still, I am thankful that I got the greatest gift of all... My only child.

Plaaswijck Park In Rotterdam, A Magical Place For The Children

Where I relished the moment with my family.

It was a lovely day and it is a lovely thing to escape for a while to the monotonous of everyday's life. Our family spent a day at the Plaaswijck Park in Rotterdam. Plaaswijck Park is just about a 20 minutes drive from our home. The temperature in the Netherlands is reaching to 32 degrees now so we expect a big crowd of people there. Plaaswijck Park is a real family park, but FOR children, this park is truly a magical place. Plaaswijck is a big park where children can play, swim, or have an enjoyable walk. There is an adventure playground, boat and train trips, plus a zoo and a small farm. Plaaswijck is open from 10:00 till 19:00. The entrance fee is 12 euros for age 2 to 65; 8 euros for age 65 and above. Children below 2 years are free. Again, please allow me to take you there through my photos.

Complete Me (A Mother's Poem)

Little toes, bright eyes

Tender smile, soft giggles

A boy with golden hair,

Once you were just a dream.

I have you now

My life will be incomplete without you

The breath that fills my heart,

The movement that sustains my day.

A child of mine,

A sweet delight

That sometimes makes my world

Upside down.

You bring to me a sense of completion

It's a peculiar kind of joy

A happiness without measure

You made the best of me when I became your mother.

My Son's Short Story Of Decay

My son named it: mama's truck.

Nothing can compare the feeling of having a toddler at home. Your life, your home turns like a roller coaster... Many ups, but sometimes down. Not because you do not like the role, but what I meant to say is the stress and the challenge to control the situation.

 I gave my son a tanker truck, as my simple gift to him. My son is continuously receiving gifts from family and friends since he was still in my womb until now. We have now are boxes of many toys for him. I never bought even one toy for him. I think, he has already more than enough.

Almost a month now since I gave him a tanker truck that he loves so much. He brings it everyday to school and back home. He actually brings it anywhere we go, even in his sleep.

A very playful child.

Early this morning, he woke up already and went to our bedroom (me and his papa's room). He sleeps separate from us, alone in his room. I was still very sleep and feeling lazy to move and to get up. He went to my husband instead. When I get up, my husband is already in the sink and cleaning something. My husband is cleaning the tanker truck. He said it is very smelly!

I told my husband to just leave it and I will finish it after he left for work. Uh! It was not easy. What is deep down the tanker are the rotten skin of mandarin. Uh, I remember that when we were in the assembly two weeks ago, as I peel the mandarin, he put the skin inside the tanker. I did not bother to remove it or to clean it. Now it is rotten, stinky, the smell makes me dizzy!

I used tweezers to get rid all the, like picking small objects and plucking hair. Then I washed the inside of the tanker with hot water and soap. When I handed it back to my son, he is smiling. Another lesson I have learned today with regards in mommying. 

Five Ways To Stimulate Our Children In Reading

I love reading as much as I enjoy writing. The earliest memory I hold of my fondness with a book is as early as before I started schooling. I remember the small pink book Listening To The Great Teacher. I can't even read a single word, but I remember how I hold it close to my heart, wishing I could read the stories there. How time flies. Now, I am a mother of a toddler who also loves books, and he enjoys the time when me or his father read a book for him.

We are living at the cyber age. Actually, cyber has been merely a common prefix. I am using this word to pertain this modern world where nearly everyone uses a computer. Children lose their interest in reading books. The question is: how we can stimulate our young ones to have an interest in books, to love reading, and as times go by, they can become a comprehensive reader?

I listed five ways on how we can motivate or stimulate our children to love books and to enjoy reading.

1. Don't choose, have your child choose. We cannot encourage our child to read if we are the one who choose the book that they are going to read. Even in the early years, it is our role to give our child choices. As parents, we know what our child's interest. From there we can set out some books that they can choose from. We can even bring our children to the library, you will amaze how a small hand instantly grabs a book that he or she likes.

2. Establish a routine for reading. To stimulate our children for reading, we set a time to read with them. The reading time must not be overly formal. We can set it at any time of the day, during snack time, before going to bed, or even when we are resting. Reading is an activity that can fit almost any time of the day.

3. Read loud, or lead aloud together. My son is just a preschooler. They have a regular reading time in school. Now, I am also starting to have a time to read load a book with him. He enjoys it, sitting beside me and listening. When I am done reading the book, he will say fast: "meer! Meer! Means, more-more!

4. Talk with your child about what you are reading. The best way to have your child get involved in your reading time is to raise a question. Questions that are appropriate for their age. I asked questions depend on what my son sees in the pictures in the book. Most of the times, he doesn't wait for a question, he happily tells what he picks up in the book: things, animals, people, even emotion.

5. Be an example that you enjoy reading. Children often imitate their parents' behavior. They are good to mime gestures and body moves. It also applies in our reading pattern. The way we set pattern to our children on important facets in life, such as reading enjoyment will bring them a lifelong benefit.

Five Special Ways Of A Toddler Saying "I Love You"

Millions of books were published for child care and parenting. Because of this, some parents come to doubt their efficiency in good parenting. It is like, other people, as long as "it is their profession" might clouded our minds as parents, so we will lose our self confidence in taking care of our own child.

In our municipality, the mothers of preschoolers meet once a month, organized by Stitching Aanzet. They meet us to help us, and give us advice on child care, on child schooling, behavior, language skill, and others. We can open up to the group any of our concerns or troubles with our child. One of the mothers today, relates that her child has sleeping problem. Anyone can give a tip about this particular issue. Since my son is a good sleeper, I shared a little of my motherly knowledge.

My son is a good sleeper, and this is one of the things that I am very grateful with. I think, the consistency of a child's bedtime is important. When it is time to sleep, even the child is not yet sleepy, we must put our child to bed, so in the early years, they know how to follow their biological clock. Me and my husband had proven it helpful too: a warm shower or bath before bedtime can help a child to have a sound sleep at night.

Your life will never be the same again once have a toddler. And toddlers have their own special ways of saying "I love you." It takes heart, love, and a lot of patience to pay attention. Here are some:

1. Cuddles and snuggles and all that fun stuff. No matter how busy you are, don't deprive your child the cuddling and snuggling he or she needs. There are times that toddlers had tantrums and you had a bad mood. Even toddlers, they have a sensitive feeling. They know well that a cuddling and snuggling can put your smile back and get their eyes sparkling again.

2. Screaming when you or husband arrived at home. My son is very cute saying his loudest: "papa, papa, papa!" when my husband arrives from work. Just the same, when I am the one who have a day out without them. It is the toddler's way of saying that: "I have missed you!"

3. Taking anything that interest him/her to you. Toddlers are full of curiosity. Once they found something that interest them, the first thing they will do is to show it to you. It is their way of saying that you two are buddies, a period where you can lay a foundation of friendship with your child until he grow up.

4. Loves doing routines with you. Sometimes, it is so stressful having a toddler. Toddlers love to do things again and again, loves repetition. My son has games that he already knows, puzzles and others. But he loves to do them again and again and keep on asking me, and waiting for me to agree. But I understand that it's his way of saying that he enjoys doing things repeatedly with me or with his father.

5. Obeying your simple command, follows small rule. Nothing is sweeter than seeing our little ones obeying us when we ask them to do certain tasks. I am all out smile when my son spills his milk and he is fast to take the rug and clean his mess. It is one of the ultimate expressions of their love when they extend their small helping hand.

You may know a lot about birds, but you don’t know a thing about kids. -Excerpt from the movie, Away And Back

Five Valuable Lessons That I Learned From My Toddler

Life will never be the same once you become a parent.

I have read that when we have a toddler, their favorite word this year is "more"! Toddlers love to do things over and over again, but are also introducing themselves to a subtle change into each repetition. They are also a great imitator. They love to follow what they are constantly seeing and noticed from us. It is funny because my son imitate even how I used the toilet paper, and how we use the kitchen paper when me or his father sneeze. Even toddlers love to do things over and over again, they also love to do new activities. Don't deprive them the chance to lend their helping hand even on that very young age, it will mold them to become a responsible adult in the future.

The temperature in The Netherlands is now cooling down. This morning, I washed our laundry and hanged them again in the clothesline in the garden. The sunlight is a bit shy, but I still have the element to dry my laundry: wind and a dry day. My son was with me and helping me by passing me the clip, one by one.

And so I started to cut the grass in our garden. Again, my son loves to help. Our morning together was a really fun, even we're just cutting the grass. I cut the grass and he gathered them together and stacking them in his dump truck! Hahaha! I took my camera and got some photos of what he is doing, I am pleased.

after helping me, he is sleepy :)

As I spend each moment of my day to day life with my toddler, I learned some valuable lessons in life:
1. Fun is a matter of choice. When I see gray sky, my son sees it clear and bright, and fun continues. Fun is in the eye of the beholder.

2. There is always someone who loves to lend a helping hand, do not underestimate even these hands are small. My son helped me realized that even we are grown up, we also feel tired and it is okay to ask for help.

3. Outdoor is the best medicine. I have been sickly lately. I feel like I like to just stay inside. But my son loves outdoors. Every time he got restless indoors, I switch his attention to something by taking him outside. Letting him play in the garden, or at the playground. All of the sudden, I feel better after I have a good dose of the outdoor fun.

4. To enjoy my my present age because it is not permanent. Enjoy it with my family. How quickly time flies! It was like only yesterday when I gave birth to my son. Next year he is already in the basisschool, the formal schooling for all children in the Netherlands.

5. I am loved. There is nothing better or sweeter in life, than having a tight hug, a tiny arm wrapping around my neck and saying: mama.

Water Fun, Children's Healthy Lifestyle

my son's water playground.

I see you in September when summer is gone. Hahaha! That is a beautiful song. This week, the Dutch people are savoring the very hot weather. It is like a last hurray to the Dutch summer. My son has no school today and I made his day at home very enjoyable. Weeks from now and the weather will gets colder until it is autumn season again.

I started the day talking with my husband before he flies from Katowice, Poland to the Netherlands this morning. I washed our laundry and hang them again in the sun. At 9 o clock this morning, my son started to play in his portable swimming pool. Me and my son are still in the garden while I am typing and composing my blog today... Water fun. The importance of water fun to our child's growth development.

preparing his swimming pool

we both love the outdoor.

fun at home is not that complicated :)

a child that loves being in the  water.

Active kids are not only more likely to be healthy, but also are more likely to develop into healthy adults, and the best kind of activity for kids is an activity they find fun, something they will want to do often. Playing in water provides an addictive way for kids to get outdoors and moving. Swimming pools, water parks, and beaches are perhaps the most common places kids learn to love the water by swimming, diving, and splashing to their heart's content, yet families need not travel away from home to enjoy water activities.- Ebay

with his cars, trucks, train, bus, and boat :)

water becomes his favorite enjoyment.

This is very much true. Since the day that our son was born, the nurses in the hospital, put him in the sink, with their help, he let him float in the water. When we took him home, almost every day he has a bath, regardless of the weather. Yes, our son, had a regular bath since then. My mother in law gave us a good baby bath tub. My son comes to love the water, and is a very active boy. He is not afraid of the water, in the shower, even the waves on the beach.

There is also proven health benefits that come from getting outside in the sun. While it was never believed that sitting indoors all day and every day was particularly healthy, little was known about the health advantages of getting outside regularly. The primary health boost of being outdoors comes from sun exposure. My day to day life with my son includes a lot of time outdoors. When I brought him to the Consultatie Bureau, the doctor noticed my son's color. Her comment is: mooie kleur, in English: beautiful color. She said, it is good that my son loves outdoors.

enjoying the summer :)

sun, water, outdoor: a healthy lifestyle.

Let your child play in the water, give him some safe toys while he is playing there. Expose your child in the sun, it is a kind of healthy lifestyle. In the process, the child with gets healthier, and it will become a habit that our child will enjoy for a lifetime.

The Mother's Love

I have read this story on the internet. For me, this is one of the greatest stories ever told. I am sharing this to all mothers in the world as well as for the children. Most of the times, people underestimate the role of the mother, especially if the mother is just a plain housewife, ,uneducated or from a poor family. There are countries that treat women as low creations, and there are men who considered women only as sex objects.

I admire mothers who are devoted to their role, especially those who are single mothers. This story is written for you. I am a mother of a toddler and I do not like to brag my love for my son. But having him in my life, brought sunshine and a kind of love and happiness that exist. Please read this story and please feel free to leave a comment.

This story was published in Good Housekeeping, 1933. A must read for all mothers and to all grown up children.
Is this the long way?" asked the young mother as she set her foot on the path of life. And the Guide said:
"Yes, and the way is hard, and you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."
The young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, she fed them and bathed them, taught them how to tie their shoes and ride a bike, and reminded them to feed the dog and do their homework and brush their teeth. The sun shone on them and the young mother cried,
Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the nights came, and the storms, and the path was sometimes dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her arms. The children said,
"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."
And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children,
"A little patience and we are there."
So the children climbed and as they climbed they learned to weather the storms. And with this, she gave them strength to face the world. Year after year she showed them compassion, understanding, hope, but most of all unconditional love. And when they reached the top they said,
"Mother, we could not have done it without you."

The days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years. The mother grew old and she became little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And the mother, when she lay down at night, looked up at the stars and said:
This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned so much and are now passing these traits on to their children."
And when the way became rough for her, they lifted her, and gave her strength, just as she had given them hers. One day they came to a hill, and beyond the hill they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And Mother said,
"I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk with dignity and pride, with their heads held high, and so can their children after them." And the children said,
"You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."

And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said,
"We cannot see her, but she is with us still." A mother is more than a memory. She is a living presence. Your Mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she's the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick and perfume that she wore, she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well, she's your breath in the air on a cold winters day.
She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow, she is your birthday morning. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop.
A mother shows through in every emotion - happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow - and all the while hoping and praying you will only know the good feelings in life.
She's the place you came from, your first home, and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, not space - not even death!

(photos are me with my son)

Me And My Preschooler

The sign of great parenting is not the child's behavior. The sign of truly great parenting is the parent's behavior.

How times flies. Summertime is gone and the beautiful Dutch autumn now starts. The temperature goes down and we are at once experiencing the cold months. I am counting the days and we are going to have again our simple wedding anniversary about two months from now. But I am setting that aside for my sweet story later on. We just arrived from school where my son is now a preschooler. In this ever changing world, the happiest days of mine as a mother of my preschool is something that I love to treasure forever.

Father and son on first day to  school.

Burt has turned two years old last August 29. I was in the Philippines that time and was staying in the hospital to give my family my moral support as our beloved father was in a bad condition. Burt's first day in school was September 2. My husband took the day off so he can bring our son in school. I cried when he shows me their photos together going into school. I know my son is in the best hands when I was away, but I am a kind of sentimental. How I wish I was with him on his  first day in school. When I was back home, I was excited to see how my son doing in school. Perhaps because I have been away from him for two weeks, he found no delight in school for a while. He was crying even just the sight of his school when I took him there. After two times of sending Burt to school with his cry-cry, he began to feel secure and confident again that I will not going to leave him very long, and when I leave him, he has learned that I will come back. Having a preschooler is an exciting life, both for the child and for the parents.

My son's teacher gave it to me, his art work.

Every time that I go to school, I feel the greatness to be called as a mother of my child. It is a title that no one can take or can replace. I am thankful for the joy of motherhood. When I get into the classroom, my childlike heart beats again. The ambiance, the smell of the children bringing me back on those days when I was a small girl who loves schooling. I watch how other mothers deal with their child in school. To deal well in "separation anxiety". One of the mothers put the crown to her daughter to stop her from crying. Another mother sniffing the butt of her son like a dog because her son poo. Many heartwarming scenes when you try to come to a preschooler room. I am glad that my son is adapting well. When he enters the classroom, what his eyes finding first is the tractor. When he already has it, then I leave and will return and  pick him up after nearly three hours.

Tuesdays afternoon with co-mommies.

I have posted sometime in my Facebook that I am an imperfect mother to my preschooler. There was the time that I took my son to school without his shoes. A time that I forgot to leave my son's coat, when I pick him up, he was wearing a used vest that his teacher lets him use for a while. Another time that I was going crazy finding his bag, his bag that I unintentionally left in school. I would say that I am an imperfect mother to my preschool, but with a pure and perfect love for him. My son makes me and his father proud of him by showing many potentials. He loves cars, he loves arts, he loves books, he loves to sing, he loves food, and he loves us.

Even just now, we see his potentials.

A boy with an easy smile to everyone. My journey of being a mother has just begun. Every Tuesday afternoon I meet with other mothers to talk about motherhood and the needs of our children. Here in the Netherlands, child care is almost everything guided in black and white. One of the staff at the child care center here in our town told me that sometimes she doesn't like it, sometimes she feels it is too much.

As for me, those child care advice and help are something to be appreciated, they came from well-meaning people by profession. But it is the parents who know well what is the best for their child because that is their child. Child care professionals gathered knowledge through book study and observation. But parents know their child by heart and blood and by their time of being together.

The love between me and my husband is like a cake, sweet. Now that we have our son, he is the icing on our cake.

I have the special role now to lead my son to enjoy his time in school and after school. My husband is a good provider and always busy at work, out of the town or out of the country. I am happy of his confidence to me in taking care of our son. As what I already wrote: having my own family I feel I already hit the moon and the stars... I feel completely happy. Before, it was only between me and my husband and our love is like a cake, sweet. Now that we have our son, our son is the icing on our cake.