14 November 2017

My Son's Struggles For Being An Only Child

"if adults have struggles, children have too."
As I was folding our laundry this afternoon, this blog came across my mind.
As I was neatly folding the tiny clothes of my four year old son, suddenly, something came into me. The thoughts that even a four year old child somehow have struggles too. The struggles of being a single child. Single, no sibling or siblings.
When we say struggles, it implies an energetic attempt to achieve something,  a strenuous effort. Let me tell why I can say that my son struggle for being our single child. Yes, there are pros and cons being an only child in the family. To name some of the pros are, the parents' undivided attention, parents dote on the child more, providing more, because it is their only child. When it comes to disadvantage, there is the term that I derived from my reading, the "Little Emperor Symptom." It refers to a Chinese situation involving parents and their single child. The tendency for a single child to grow spoiled, but a good parenting is a big help to avoid such unhealthy situation.
Being a single child there is a feeling of loneliness. I cannot tell right now if my son is feeling lonely being our only child, he is happy having us as his parents as well as the other immediate family members. But I see it, his longing to be with other children. To have a regular playmate, that is one reason why he loves school. Maybe as he grows older, maybe he will feel too the longing or wishing to have a sibling whom he can share thoughts and memories. He is always alone, only with me, or only with me and my husband. That is why, when he started in school, the teachers told me that my son seems doesn't know how to communicate with other children.
I have tried to reach out to other mothers, so my son can also learn to be with other children, learn the joy of sharing and giving, learn the sweetness of having a good friend. But it was like, I am just forcing people to like us, to accept my son. Yes, my son is naughty, my son is noisy, but it is still too early to conclude what kind of a person he is. He is a very curious child, but a happy hearted child. It touches my heart, to see that he never forgets the people who show love to him. If I as a mother has my own struggles, my son have too. If only I can grab him and take him to the place where we will be accepted as mother and child and fair, I will definitely do that. Still, I am thankful that I got the greatest gift of all... My only child.

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