Forgiven

Have you ever felt in your life that you are lost, alone, and it was like everything turned gray? A time in your life that you feel in doubt if you can still go on in life and trying so hard to direct your steps and live with the big decision that you made in your entire life? I have felt that way, years ago. It was like I am floating going to somewhere I do not know. The only answer I got was signs whenever I opened my heart to God when I pray. Deep in my heart, I want to have a happy life, a successful marriage life, and not to be sad, even the reality in front of me is as clear as the water: my life has changed. My life has changed when I choose to give my heart to a stranger who is now my husband. That time, I wrote a thought, expressing my feelings and my gratitude to God for not leaving me in total abandon. Here it is:

My role as a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, wife, and mother is to model growth not perfection because I am not perfect and everyone around me knows it. I am aware of my limitations, shortcoming, as well as my strength. If I am trying to keep up a front of Christian perfection in order to encourage the saints and win sinners, forget it, it will never happen. But when I openly admitted and asked forgiveness for my fleshly choices, I model the kind of spiritual growth which touched  so many hearts more than I can recall. At this point of my life, when I feel how much I was blessed, it is God's way of saying to me that: God fully understands what I feel and my heart's desire. I truly feel that I am forgiven.