I Want To Talk About Marriage

As I am preparing this blog, an Instagram photo caught my attention. A photo of a couple with a caption: National Best Friends Day. It was for me beautiful! Considering our spouse as our best ally. I remember, one time in our mothers' group that meet every Tuesday afternoon, we have a kind of a game as an ice-breaker. Each one of us will draw a card and in the card there is a question that all of us will answer.

our big day

There was a question that says: who is your most trusted person? Some answered parents, I answered my husband. It feels really good to be married to someone whom you are really trusted. There is no perfect marriage, but if you will ask me to rate the status of my marriage life from 1 to 10 the highest, I can say that my husband and I are standing at number 9. So the question now is: what is the key to a successful marriage? I can give some pointers based on what is really happening in my marriage life. I hope you can get some helpful tips that can enhance your marriage or your relationship.

Celebrating our 3rd year wedding anniversary

happy then, happy till now

My husband and I had just met through the Internet, through my blogging. To get married to someone whom you have never met in person is a big risk and a real challenge. We have never been friends. My husband is sweet in his own ways and at the same time, he found a sense of warmth and joy in me that made him want me. First tip: Be realistic. Again, there is no perfect marriage. Open your eyes that the person you have married is imperfect and as the days pass of living in one roof together, flaws, shortcomings, and silly things will be revealed. But how the two of you handle the situation in a calm manner is a big factor to build the marriage bond last. Don't forget that when settling an issue, the tone of our voice is very important. Second tip: follow the Golden Rule. Do unto other what you want them do to you. If you like your spouse to respect you, you must also be respectful. If you like your spouse to be honest, you must be honest too. Don't make your life complicated by being hard or hard-hearted person. Be easy on people and you will find life a lot easier.  Third tip: treat your spouse as a friend and have time for intimacy. Communication in marriage is easy when you both are at ease with each other. That is a thing we found in our friends. We run fast to our friend when we have a problem. But if we have a strong attachment with our spouse, we don't hide our fears and worries from him or from her. And intimacy is not only in bed. There is a kind of meaning in intimacy when the couples are also sharing light moments in doing household chores together. I feel loved when my husband is helping me in the kitchen. Besides, I have learned to cook because he is a good cook. Fourth tip: seasoned your marriage life with constant humor. My husband has a lot of differences. In likes, in hobbies, and in profession. I am a full-time  housewife and mother, and a hobbyist. While my husband is a very busy man. His job requires him to travel a lot, here in The Netherlands to around the world. But I love it when he laughs at my jokes and he too knows how to lighten my mood. It is really important that you have time for fun and to laugh together. During trying times, don't forget to become humorous. It can help to lighten the load. Fifth tip, but not the least: having God in your marriage. I am steadfast in my religion being one of Jehovah's Witnesses while my husband was born in a country where most people are passive in religion. But it makes a big difference in our marriage life that I stand firm in my belief and my husband feels it that my God is so real to me. I think, I gain his love and respect because I live to my faith with my God. And it is always included in my prayers, guidance and blessing in my marriage life. Before I end up, I want to add this: love, respect, and trust are things that couples must nurture through the years of being married. It will not happen over night. As you collect moments of being married, you will see both hard times and good times, all of them will strengthen your marriage if you know how to use them as a learning experience. I love my husband and I feel grateful for having him and our son in my life. I know him so comfortably now. What makes him happy and what makes him sad. I have learned too that there is one bad news to him, it is a clogged sink.